By Michael Wysocki
We all have family members or friends who have been through divorce.
Although societal stigmas may still exist to some extent, divorce is far less
scandalous these days, and often viewed as something that just happens to some
couples. If you are divorcing, this is a healthy perspective for you to
take and remember as you navigate the process and move forward.
Clients often say “Divorce is an emotional
rollercoaster”, which is an incredibly accurate description. You pay a fee,
stand in line, take your seat, strap in, lose control, get tossed about, and
eventually come to the end. Here in Texas, however, we understand the
difference between riding the Judge Roy versus the Texas Giant (a patron
recently died riding the Texas Giant). While you may not avoid the ride,
preparation can help dictate whether you are strapped in the Judge Roy or the
Texas Giant. Remember, in divorce, preparation isn’t just power, it’s
everything.
If you find yourself headed for divorce, you should
consider taking the following steps to protect and prepare yourself:
1. Know Your Assets & Debts – There should be nothing about your
marital finances that you do not know. It may take some catching up, but so be
it. Take steps necessary to get access to accounts, your financial advisors,
your CPA, and get educated. Copy all year-end financial statements, work
related (W2s, 1099s, 401(k), IRA, pension) and personal bank and investment
statements. Run
a credit report on yourself and your spouse.
2. Separate your Non-Marital Assets – The dictionary would define
non-marital assets as property considered by the courts to belong to one spouse
or another and that which is not available for equitable distribution.
Basically that just simply means they are not part of the assets divided in a
divorce. Some types of these assets include: Inherited property; Items brought
to the marriage or owned before the marriage; Gifts given specifically to
one person as opposed to the married couple; Proceeds from personal
injuries. Sometimes these non-marital assets can become mixed with
marital. An example of this would be if an item such as a boat were purchased
prior to marriage, and then sold during marriage in order to purchase another
item such as a car. In situations like this, it is very important to have a
traceable paper trail showing where the assets were and where they were
transferred into to be able to claim it as a non-marital asset.
3. Walk the Line – In other words, don’t do stupid stuff. Consider yourself
to be under a microscope. No alcohol, no drugs, no questionable behavior. Put
your love life on hold and stay single. Change passwords on all social media
accounts and refrain from posting anything that would upset your children or
spouse. In fact, it may be best to just avoid social media all together until
the process is concluded.
4. Focus on the Kids – If you have children, start listing parenting issues
and visitation options. Be sure to inform yourself as to the children’s lives –
who are their doctors, teachers, tutors, friends, and activities. Hopefully you
already have a solid relationship, but if not – no better time than immediately
to start spending quality time with your kids.
5. Hire an Experienced Divorce Lawyer – Even by adhering to all these
principles, the divorce process can be very confusing and difficult to manage.
There is a large amount of information and guidelines that must be considered,
which are often fact specific. For this reason, it is important to consult with
and hire an experienced divorce attorney who will be able to walk you through
this process and help protect your rights. Keep in mind that an experienced
attorney can make sure you avoid mistakes that could make the ride a lot less
bumpy.
Lastly, many people say they want to make this the
last good holiday for the families. If that’s the case, respect each other,
save the arguments for another day and try to start a new tradition for
yourself this year. By doing that, next year will be easier and you will be on
your way to making the best of your life the rest of your life!
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