The conservative outcry over the Obama Administration’s guidance on transgender bathrooms in public schools has focused on whether the federal government has the right to dictate standards to local schools. At least, that’s the least embarrassing argument conservatives can make publicly. For the most part, federalism issues are just the cute wig conservatives are using to mask their bald, naked antipathy towards the transgendered community. It’s easier for Texas Governor Greg Abbott to say “[Obama] is not a King,” than it is for him to admit “transgender issues are new and confusing to me, and I’m a little bitch who fears change.”

What’s ironic is that the best argument against local control of bathroom access has already been made, by the state of North Carolina in their controversial “House Bill 2.” It is there that North Carolina overturned the bathroom access ordinance in Charlotte, under the theory that the definition of a person’s “sex” shouldn’t change based on what district you happen to be in when you need to pee. North Carolina decided to define sex as “sex at birth,” and prevented Charlotte from thinking about it in any other way. 
Nobody is arguing that North Carolina didn’t have the right to tell Charlotte what sex means. The federal government is just arguing that, thanks to the Civil Rights Act (and by extension, the constitution), North Carolina doesn’thave the right to define “sex.” The Civil Rights Act says you can’t discriminate based on sex, not “based on sex... as defined by tightwads who are always looking for the next group they can oppress.” 
The public school debate is the same debate. It’s not about standards or curriculum in local public schools, it’s about recognizing a person’s gender at the country level, instead of the county. 
Which one makes more sense to you? Should a person’s legal gender really flip when they cross state or county lines? If so, what’s to stop me from being a “man” according to New York state, but a woman according to Texas, simply because I don’t fit the Texas definition of masculinity? Because that’s what we are talking about here. We’re arguing over whether a state government gets to define what makes a man, a man. And giving Republican state legislatures that kind of power probably isn’t a good thing for all of us men out here who think (for instance) that being a thin-skinned billionaire who is afraid to debate in front of women makes you more of a pussy than a man. 
What’s to stop a state from issuing a “man card” that I literally have to fill out with indications of male bona fides (has penis, shoots defenseless animals, can identify zone coverage on the All-22 film), before they give me the key to the men’s room at the gas station? 
Conservatives will of course say that states should get to define gender, as opposed to the federal government. But that’s where the real hypocrisy lies. If you really believe in local freedom to make gender classifications, then surely the most local entity is THE FREAKING PERSON, not a state or county government. 
The federal government isn’t trying to tell states how to define a person’s sex, it’s trying to tell states that “the people” get to define their sex, not the government. The feds are being downright libertarian on this issue, while states like North Carolina are trying to take away the liberty of their citizens to choose for themselves. Having the government lock in your sex, at birth, is just as totalitarian as having the government lock in your socioeconomic class, at birth (which they used to do in most countries until Americans got all REVOLUTIONARY about it), and yet just as petty as having the government mandate that your eye color must always present as it was recorded at birth. 
If conservatives really want it to be the government’s right to mandate which bathroom a person has to use, I’ve got a proposal I bet I could push through a few state legislatures. 
House Bill #3: The Pissing Into The Winds Of Change Shaming Act.
This ACT provides that there will be two types of statewide bathrooms. One, labeled “Unisex,” is intended for use by those who just want to do their business and get on with their day. The other, labeled “Bigots,” will be available for those who don’t think bathroom classification is a matter of private choice. Any person can use the unisex bathrooms, but access to the bigoted bathrooms will be strictly limited to persons who wish the country was exactly as it was, at birth.