An unfortunate proposal can be compared to driving a nail into the wall. It
can be done just with one blow but it takes time to pull the nail out again and
it cannot be done without leaving a mark where the nail was.
Examples and experiences show
that negotiation is a psychological game with high stakes – a game we humans
play against one another more than 10,000 per year for the average person.
Sometimes against opponents whom we know and sometimes against opponents whom
we do not know. Do you know yourself? Do you know what affects you in different
ways and how you can influence your opponent by varying your behavior?
If you want to be better at
negotiating, you have to start with yourself. Dare stare your own faults and
skills right in the eyes. You can never change you opponents; they are who they
are. It is your own behaviour you have to get to know, develop and change. If
you are sympathetic and adjust your behaviour to the situation and the
opponent, you will experience progress.
Even though every negotiation
is unique and calls for its own solutions, there is a lot you can learn from
other people, trades and situations. Compare and dare question what you do.
Discussions are not dangerous. Discussions are there so that we can get to know
one another better, gain respect for one another and get new information on the
table. As a skilled negotiator, you know that it becomes much easier to reach
an agreement, if you can create added values, and to negotiate about the
distribution of these added values even if the negotiation amounts to nothing
more than a zero-sum game.
I have in my books described a
number of negotiation tools. Some are honest while others are debatable. If you
try to make the negotiation into a game where you constantly try to shine by
being superior to the opponent – well, then I have failed in getting my message
across. If you think that negotiations must be won by fight and clever methods,
then you have failed too. On the other hand, if you choose not to use more
negotiation strength then the situation calls for in order to achieve your
goals and you manage to land a deal with two satisfied parties, then we both have
succeeded.
You need to
identify a negotiation strategy – how you want to negotiate.
Your choice of strategy and
tactics is one of the most important points for you when preparing to
negotiate. If strategy and tactics haven’t been thought out, you leave the
initiative to the other party and
will be forced to negotiate on his terms and conditions.
The strategy is the philosophy
according to which you work, and it impacts on your behaviour during
negotiation. Tactics are those moves, ploys, and stratagems you make use of in
the negotiation.
Most negotiators have never
really planned any strategy. They adjust their behaviour to the moment, and
they change their strategy in a poorly planned manner in the course of the
negotiations.
Negotiation as a
zero sum game or a coorporation.
The creation of SMARTnerships
and added value are not possible, without basic skills in negotiation
techniques.
Negotiation methods can be
subdivided into two main categories: zero-sum games and cooperation. The
question isn’t which of the methods is right or wrong, but what combination you
should choose to get the best possible result. You use cooperation to build up
relationships and trust, and to create added value. In zero-sum games you
negotiate about the division of this added value
Part of your strategy should
be:
Who is on my team? Who is my
opponent? Are we using visual aids? Do we need to reach an agreement? What is
our preferred negotiation style? How many variables do we negotiate on? Should
we open or wait for the counterpart to open? Are we willing to share cost and
gains? Have we prepared a negotiation planner? Who makes devisions on our team?
Are we going to be honest? When are we using breaks? Are we negotiating in our
office, at the opponents office or somewhere else?
Plus many many other things.
You have to learn to use the
tools. You get the best training by negotiating a lot and by gaining experience.
My experience show that we can learn a lot from the negotiations, which we all
participate in every day.
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