T’is the
time for New Year resolutions. Our perennial attempt to lose weight at a gym,
pay off debt, quit smoking, become organised and spend less time at work. For
some, the resolution is a major change in their life and who they live it with.
Contemplating
another year in a difficult or bad marriage can prove too much for many. The
consequence is that more applications or petitions for divorce are reportedly
filed in the Family Court during the month of January than in any other month
of the year.
But the
resolve to end a personal relationship can be the beginning of traumatic and
unfamiliar emotional feelings, parenting challenges, financial challenges and
legal processes. Below are tips for managing the difficult transition of
divorce.
1. Put
your children first
Children’s
needs can often get lost in the web of complicated emotions triggered by a
broken relationship. But parents who put their children first can minimise the
effect of separation and divorce on them.
Research
has shown that it is not the divorce but the way you divorce that impacts
children. Resolve not to argue in front of children, use them as a sounding
board, bad-mouth to them about the other parent, or make them in any way part
of the divorce. Endeavor to do what it takes to improve the quality of your
parenting relationship by communicating and interacting as best as you can with
your ex.
2. Find
financial solutions that work for you and your family
You and
your family are unique and require an individualised solution to your financial
issues. Therefore, resolve to apply energy toward creative problem-solving
rather than toward recriminations or revenge – seek to fix the problem rather
than apportion blame. Take control over all financial decisions, how fast they
happen, and who is involved—and ensure that those who are, including
solicitors, work towards a long-term sustainable financial settlement
3. Find
ways to work with, rather than apart from, your ex.
Choose
a resolution method that minimises disruption to your life and helps you to
maintain control over the outcome of your divorce. We recommend an out of court
settlement wherever possible. However, in some cases court litigation could be
the only option. No matter which option you choose, clarify upfront the most
important priorities for both you and your ex. Select a family law solicitor
who will help you to achieve a settlement that is aligned with both your short
and long term goals.
4. And
take care of yourself.
Separation
and divorce are very stressful experiences that affect you physically as well
as mentally and emotionally. That New Year gym membership may still prove
beneficial in the months ahead. Take the class or enjoy the hobby, whatever
works to relieve that stress. Nothing helps our emotions bounce back better
than physical activity
If it is your resolve in this New Year to end a relationship, the above
tips will help you move forward with hopefulness and integrity.
No comments:
Post a Comment